With Valentine’s Day looming, Westside Media Group will be bringing you several perspectives of high school dating with a relationships in-depth. From teachers who have married their high school sweethearts to deciding whether to hang out with your friends or significant other, we’ll be covering it all. This is the second installment of the series. Make sure to click on the High School Relationships category for more coverage. 

What would you do: your friends want you to go with them to a party but your significant other wants to go to a movie. Anyone in a relationship has had his fair share of issues. An issue that always worms itself to the surface is the struggle of trying to keep a good balance between your best friend and your significant other.

So how do you decide? Start with yourself, the experts say.

“I believe the best way to choose someone who would make a healthy significant other is to know the ‘self’ first,” said Korrie Conners, a licensed mental health provider in private practice at The Alderian Center. “As we all age, we go through new stages, changing and evolving. If we don’t take the time to become clear on our own goals, morals and characteristics that are important to us, we often pick a partner and then attempt to change the other person to meet our needs.”

In our quest to find ourselves We all run into the same issue in high school of finding what to prioritize in your life. It’s important to organize your activities, schoolwork, and relationships throughout your high school experience. We only so much free time. Finding an equal amount of time to spend with people can be difficult, especially with activities going on during high school.

“A person who truly loves you will want the best for you and will not want you to be away from your friends,” Conners said. “A friend, also, should want and be excited for you when you find a romantic partner and if they are truly a good friend will support you in that relationship.”

Have you been seeing signs that you are in a bad relationship? Maybe it’s time to take a look at your relationship either that be your friends or your significant other.

“When deciding on continuing with a friendship, marriage or dating relationship it is vital to have healthy boundaries and to choose people to surround yourself with that add positive energy, love, honesty and care to the relationship,” Conners said.

Take the time to look closely at your relationships. Conners explained some of the signs of an unhealthy relationship.

“A sign of an unhealthy relationship is when a friend or significant other wants you to spend time with only them,” Conners said. “This usually indicates the other person is insecure in the relationship and with themselves. It can also give red flags that this person is controlling and manipulative. Communication is best to resolve these issues. It is also good to talk these concerns over with family members or those you trust most who know you and what is best for you. It is always best to listen to ‘gut’ instincts as our body often tells us when something is not right in any relationship.”

Manipulation in relationships can play a huge part in this struggle between your friends and significant other. Your friends need to spend time with you, too, and so does your significant other. There is often pressure from either your friends or significant other to make a choice between the two.

“Manipulation is very common in relationships,” Conners said. “It is natural to want things to be a certain way with your partner. This can be resolved through communicating needs and negotiating or compromising with a significant other. A time to be concerned comes when one partner becomes smothering, controlling, violent or in any way abusive. This is a time for separation and possibly time to seek professional help.”