There are three lessons in this life that we are told from the time we are young: never take candy from strangers, always look both ways when crossing the street, and nobody likes burnt marshmallows. We all know someone who does. Everyone is sitting around the fire preparing to roast marshmallows, gathering sticks, and ingredients for s’mores. You’re putting up a heated, yet futile resistance against the mosquitoes who have decided you are their walking buffet and then the marshmallow burners come along. They look normal and civilized, until it comes time to roast. Then they shove their ‘mallow straight into an eager flame. You stifle a gasp as the fire licks at what was once a symbol of innocence and purity, the treat you’ve enjoyed since you could hold a stick. Your every memory becomes clouded with soot as that one wholesome piece of fall nights is corrupted by heat and greed. With a grin, and shadows bouncing around their face, they muster “it tastes better burnt.”

     Everyone becomes visibly uncomfortable and the group tries to make it less awkward. Everyone acts like they’re spooked by the kid who’s spent the last minute and a half staring at a the burnt marshmallow, not saying a word. Deep down, we all know what’s really going on. The spectators just don’t seem to care.

    It’s important to note, I’m not even arguing golden brown marshmallows are superior. I’m saying that if you try to tell me that you like burnt marshmallows better, I will politely insist that you do not.  I have never believed anyone who says they prefer the taste of sugary ash over a cylindric cloud of joy.

     The only valid statement in favor of flaming fluff is that it cooks faster. It’s true after all. Most things do tend to cook faster when you light them on fire. It does not, however, make them taste better. The texture and taste, even if bearable, are nowhere near a suitable, golden brown marshmallow.

     Why does part of our population think this is acceptable behavior? We all are too impatient to enjoy the finer things in life, like a properly browned marshmallow. They just stick it in the fire. Kids have only really eaten burnt marshmallows and will go on to become warped adults.

     So maybe it’s time to learn that there are no short cuts in life. Things won’t come at a higher quality if they are produced quickly. Invest in things that mean the most to you even if they take time. Invest in the ‘mallow.

story by daisy friedman, photos by emma reiser