Ninety seconds are left for me to pick the ninth member of my fantasy football team, Demaryius Targaryen. Eighty-nine, eighty-eight, eighty-seven… I am stuck between two players. Golden Tate, a wide receiver for the Seattle Seahawks, and Ben Tate, the second string running back for the Houston Texans. I need another running back — there are not many to choose from this year. Eighty, seventy-nine, seventy-eight… Ben Tate is a handcuff, a back up running back for a team with an injury prone starting running back. If the starting running back gets injured, I now have another starting running back. This can be crucial for a fantasy team to win a league.

Sixty-five, sixty-four, sixty-three… Arian Foster has been having injury issues this whole pre-season. Ben Tate is the best handcuff there is. All of the starting running backs are gone. If I draft Ben Tate, my team can be amazing. All I need is for Arian Foster to reinjure his back. He is a person with a child and wife. He has the potential to become an NFL legend. And I want him injured. Am I a monster?

Fifty-three, fifty-two, fifty-one… I am stuck in a situation that I am not too sure how to handle. Last year I picked up players during the season when a starter got injured, but this is different. Last year, it was after the starter was already hurt. In this case, it would be before the starter is injured. If I draft Ben Tate, I will be rooting for a player to get hurt. Can I bring myself this low? It isn’t hard for me to root for a player. That is what fantasy football encourages. But, I’ve never rooted against a player to such an extreme.

Forty-six, forty-five, forty-four… If I am rooting for an injury, is a random NFL game interesting in the right way? Don’t get me wrong; if the Jets score a touchdown, there is no way I will be moving from my seat. At the same time, I don’t even care about these players. I look at them like pawns. Fantasy football dehumanizes these players to the point where all I care about is if their knee is holding up. Players are being reduced to the number of touchdowns and yards they get each game. Fantasy football is supposed to engross the everyday American into every NFL game. But is it doing it in the right way if people don’t even care more about the numbers than the player?  Do I even care about the players?

Thirty-two, thirty-one, thirty… Is rooting against a player even bad if I have no influence in his health? As much as I would like to control who scores a touchdown or who sprains an ankle, I can’t. Is it so bad for me to root for a starter to get injured when in reality it doesn’t affect the starter at all?  In the end, I am trying to make my team the best it can be. I want to win my league for the fact that it would be a letdown to the fantasy gods to let a subordinate fantasy team win instead of mine.

Twelve, eleven, ten… The question falls back to me, Golden Tate or Ben Tate? My mouse hovers to Ben Tate’s icon. I am the pessimist to think Foster will get injured. Then I click on Golden Tate. I am the optimist. Nine, eight, seven… I click back to Ben Tate. Do I want to root for an injury? I look back to Golden Tate. He is the safer pick and will get points regardless of other circumstances. A random player is highlighted as I continue to debate. Does this pick say something about how I am morally? Six, five, four… My mouse slides over to his name. Click. Three, two, one… I hover over the ominous red button. Click. The 119^th pick of the draft and the 9^th player on my team is… Ben Tate.