“Sooo…. are you guys going out?”

“Idk, but I’m pretty sure we are talking, or have a thing, maybe FWBs, but we really like each other and are totally exclusive.”

“So then why aren’t you dating?”

Dating is part of high school. Most of us chose to partake in the ritual of dating in some way, shape or form. Some of us aren’t the relationship type, while others thrive off of having a significant other to call our own. More and more these days we see teenagers falling into the “hook-up culture,” having “things” for months at a time without ever making a verbal commitment to officially date and call one and another boyfriend or girlfriend.

I understand, the idea of a relationship isn’t always the most appealing thing in the world. In this day and age, because of technology, teenagers are used to the idea of instant gratification. We get what we want when we want it and we can change our minds on the fly.  We rarely have to commit. While you aren’t committing for life, some people see it as a loss of freedom. You can’t hook up randomly, you have to take them to your dances and hang out with them on the weekends—That really seems like a lot of work. It requires maturity and an actual level of emotional attraction towards the person you are seeing, but maybe that is why you should do it.

Defining the relationship is important. You are already sharing your life with a person, spending time with them, thinking about them often, so why can’t you just make it “official”? What is it truly going to change? The answer, and you know it deep down, is nothing. You weren’t going to cheat on them any way and you really don’t mind spending time with them.  Face it, you want to go to all the dances with them too, so just label it, the verbal commitment is important.

Adding the verbal commitment focuses the relationship on the two of you. In high-school, there are many distractions that can cause you to lose sight of a relationship, but adding the label, being known as so and so’s boyfriend or blah-blah’s girlfriend can help to form a stronger relationship between the two of you. When someone is willing to call you their significant other, it publically shows their feelings for you, which decreases doubt in the relationship and makes it better.

Some may say, what’s the point? High-school relationships go nowhere. In most cases this is true, but just like everything else in high school, you are practicing for the future. Therefore, having healthy relationships in high school is important because when you are older, and relationships do matter to you, you will know how to build a strong, healthy relationship that can last the test of time.