Girls Inc. Mentor Rose McCoy recently spoke at the company’s annual Lunch for the Girls event highlighting the opportunities and positive impact that the program provides for the Omaha community.
McCoy explained that UNMC provided her with the opportunity to become a mentor at Girls Inc.
“I’m currently in med school at UNMC and I was looking for a way to get more involved with kids because I knew I wanted to work with them in the future,” McCoy said. “I had heard about it through a fellow researcher that I was working with and became super interested.”
McCoy also explained that once meeting with the mentor coordinator, she fell in love with the idea of having a lasting impact on one specific girl.
“I love the idea of actually having an impact on someone’s life, like in a much longer term, not just like a short term event,” McCoy said. “The other main thing is I get to help empower women.”
McCoy said that the matching process at Girls Inc. was not what she had expected.
“I think I didn’t really know what to expect about the whole matching process,” McCoy said. “You submit what you’re looking for, and then the girls can say if they’re interested in having a mentor or not. They often have to fill out a form about what they’re looking for and then at first you don’t really know who you’re getting assigned to so it’s like a blind date.”
Nine-year-old Ariana is McCoy’s mentee at Girls Inc. McCoy went on to describe that Ariana and her were matched because of their similar interests.
“They kind of told me on the phone about her but then we met up for the first time in person and found out that we had a lot of interests,” McCoy said. “We like to do outdoor activities like walking, hiking, playing outside, stuff like that. She’s also interested in math and I like math too. So, we had our interests and now we are paired up and I got so lucky with her because she’s so sweet.”
McCoy has already noticed a change in Ariana’s maturity since working with her, which is just one example of a positive outcome that she has experienced while mentoring.
“I can already tell she’s maturing and I’ve known her for about just over a year now,” McCory said. “She’s coming out of her shell, she’s having opinions and at first she was so afraid to say if she didn’t like [an] idea and I was like, ‘no you can say that you don’t want to do something.’ Now she will kindly say, ‘I don’t think I’m that interested’ and I’m proud of her for coming out of her shell and speaking her mind and doing so in a respectful way. she is just the most wonderful little girl and is so sweet and so kind and very thoughtful.”
McCoy explained that the most rewarding part of being a mentor is the way Ariana has developed in so many positive ways.
“Her parents or her mom always would say how sassy and outspoken she was but she was always so nice and quiet to me,” McCoy said. “At first it was like she was putting on a kind of a front of just being so sweet and now, she’s still sweet, but she’s definitely getting more sassy and fun. I just really like seeing her open up and watching her mature over the past year. It’s also so rewarding to see her have her own opinions and be able to express them.”
McCoy has not only gained a deep relationship with Ariana through mentoring, but with her family as well. She said that she would’ve never expected to be so close to Ariana’s family.
“Her family had an incident, so I got involved through the medical side since I work at the hospital,” McCoy said. “Because of this, I became really close with her family. Going into this I thought it was just going to be me and the mentee but I am now very close to her mother. I really respect her and I look up to her as a mother. She works a lot of jobs and she takes care of foster children as well. I didn’t expect to have that kind of relationship come out of this emergency situation.”
McCoy’s experience in mentoring has affected her in several unexpected ways, including her career.
“Mentoring was a big part of the reason why I decided I definitely want to do pediatrics and be a pediatrician because I just love being around children and I love the joy they have,” McCoy said. “You can learn so much from kids and it just reminds me to still have fun and laugh because it’s so easy to get distracted in my work and studying all the time. Whenever I’m with Ariana I’m always laughing and smiling and so this whole experience has definitely helped me decide that I want to become a pediatrician.”
While McCoy expressed the many positive aspects to mentoring, she also shared a challenge that she had to overcome with Ariana in her first few months while working with her.
“Ariana carries her cell phone with her and so usually I’ll just text her and ask what she wants to do during our time together,” McCoy said. “So there’s one day where she was reading our messages and not responding and I started taking it personally. I was like, ‘what’s going on? Is she not enjoying this time with me?’
McCoy later learned that Ariana’s lack of response was not personal, and used the experience to highlight Ariana’s growth.
“I ended up talking with her mom, and then I found out that she didn’t want to do the activity that we had planned,” McCoy said. “She didn’t want to hurt my feelings by saying she wasn’t interested in doing a certain activity. Instead of saying no, she was just ignoring me. I wasn’t going to be hurt by her not wanting to do it, but overall it ended up helping me understand her better and how she deals with her emotions. This helps me guide her and tell her that you’re allowed to have your own opinions and express them. Now I see her much more frequently saying ‘I don’t want this or I don’t want to do that.’ I really value that because I know that that’s hard for her and she doesn’t like to hurt other people since she’s very sweet.”
McCoy believes that Girls Inc. mentors have a huge impact on the overall Omaha community.
“Even though the girls get a lot of group activity time, they don’t get to have as many one-on-one experiences with other women,” McCoy said. “I think being a mentor helps show the girls what they can become in life and it guides them and keeps them on the right track. For the community, it builds stronger women.”
McCoy emphasized the importance of having a mentor, especially in a society where young women need more positive influences in their lives.
“Middle school can be such a hard time and especially for kids who are coming from lower income areas or they have less resources and I think having mentors help these girls who are not necessarily as fortunate,” McCoy said “We’re having more girls especially in medicine and I can say that because one of my friends has a whole research project about it. We’re also seeing more women of color in medicine.”
McCoy wishes she had known about the Girls Inc. mentoring program earlier because of the positive experiences she’s had already, and encourages others to become involved as well.
“I wish I had found out about this earlier because I’m in my third year of med school now,” McCoy said. “I would say as soon as you find out about this program, definitely look into it. Don’t wait because the longer you can be matched with your girl, the greater a connection you will have with them. I would recommend people in high school to volunteer because I believe you can start at like 18. By starting as soon as you can, you get much more time with the girl before she graduates or moves out of the state or something like that.”
McCoy cherishes her experience as a mentor and hopes that others will be inspired to become one, as it has many benefits for the mentor, mentee and community.
